Still working on that whole "frump" thing...

I'm not even going to check the date on my first post. I started this blog with the best of intentions. Goodbye to frump forever! Hello new fit and energetic me! As you may have noticed I haven't revisited the blog site much with exciting updates on my amazing progress. Yeah. Well.

I'm still here, and willing to admit that change is very hard. It takes time, and I'm starting to be okay with that. I have made some changes that are not all that insignificant. After a 15 year lapse, I've gone back to school to finish my degree. I threw away the tattered, black, stretchy pants with the elastic waist. (Yes, I bought a new pair, but I've made a solemn promise to myself to never wear them out in public). I've gone shopping several times and even bought two new pairs of jeans. I can throw out the old pair I wore on "special" occasions last year - they were being held together by a lovely safety pin. I got a really great haircut and I've committed to actually getting it done more than twice a year.

Exercise is still on the back burner. Walking to class counts for something, especially while wearing my 60 lb backpack. I think I should get some kind of weight lifting credit just for that. The University I'm attending has a gym that I can use for free, and renting a locker and actually trying that gym has been on my to-do list for a couple of weeks now. Tomorrow...

Nutrition is also a little iffy. I do pretty well for the first half of the day, but I have poor meal planning habits and I just get famished by late afternoon. When I reach that point, all good intentions fly out the window and I want food NOW. But I'm starting to pack a cute little lunch for myself so I can hang out at the library and study with all the cool kids until it's time to pick my little munchkin up from school.

I seem to have a habit of repeating adjectives. Anyway, I'm signing off to make the aforementioned lunches for my family and myself so I can go to bed early (fingers crossed) tonight. Goodnight!

Crazy Neighbor Lady

My crazy neighbor came up with an even crazier plan. She decided to get herself and her kids up early every morning and walk to the park. Did I mention that it's summer? No school, no imposed deadlines, preferably no alarm clocks. She actually had the nerve to invite my little boy and me to come along.

Initially I gave her a non-committal "yeah, sounds fun, we'll have to see how things go." Privately I was compiling a list of very legitimate reasons (a.k.a. excuses) not to participate in this insane plan.

1. Summer is supposed to be lazy - or at least not so scheduled.
2. Despite being an early riser, my son will happily play video games for at least an hour without waking me.
3. I'm just not sure I'm ready for "people" that early in the morning.
4. My husband always goes to bed late, and if I want to spend time with him I have to stay up late too...so sleeping in makes sense, right?
5. Sleep is sacred, and there's never enough of it.

However, a few little things kept pestering my thoughts until I decided to tentatively - very tentatively - try it for a week.

Monday went well. It was nice to get out in the sunshine. The kids had fun playing at the park. My neighbor walks like a maniac and after 5 minutes of being completely out of breath I sent her on her way to do her own thing while I walked at my own pace.

Tuesday I had shin splints from trying to keep up with my crazy friend. But I re-started Week 1 of a "couch-to-5K" plan.

Wednesday I slyly suggested to my son that we have a "lazy day" and skip the park thing. He responded, "But mom, you know how you've been wanting to lose some weight? Well this is the key!" He was right, of course. So we went to the park. And we made it through the rest of the week without any "lazy days."

Reluctantly, I have to admit that it's a really good thing. It's good for my son because he has an hour of fun exercise without even knowing that he's exercising. It's good for me because I have some consistency, and exercise really does temper my weird, anxious personality. We both come home happy, a little less restless, and ready to start the day.

"I was frump girl..."

"I was frump girl, until now." This is one of my all-time favorite movie lines from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding." I relate on many levels to the character of Toula. I am also frump girl, but I don't want to be frumpy anymore.

But what is the first step of change when there is so much change to be made? It's overwhelming enough that I tend to think about it, get kind of motivated, start making lists of all the things I need to do...then get tired and settle down for a snack. And another day passes with nothing really happening. But I'm hoping that this blog will give me a place to vent my frustrations, celebrate successes, and be accountable to someone besides myself.

I have a long list of reasons to change. My weight is putting me at risk for a lovely variety of health issues...pre-diabetes that could quite easily lead to diabetes, hypertension and high cholesterol. My energy level is pretty much zero at this point...which makes it tough to keep up with my wild little 7 year old son. I hate shopping for clothes because nothing fits well, and let's face it, plus size clothing just doesn't cut it most of the time. Much of the frumpiness has developed because I don't want to buy new clothes, so I wear the same thing pretty much every day...varied only by color. (If I find a shirt that fits I just buy a few in different colors). My black stretchy pants with the elastic waist are super-comfy, but maybe not so cute. I'm tired of being fat, tired, and having very little confidence in myself. It's time for a change.

There are a few weight-loss, healthy lifestyle blogs that I follow, and I'm hoping that by starting one of my own I'll learn to write through my feelings instead of stuffing them down with food. That is my plan...my hope. So here we go...